Raise your hand if you are or were nervous about having sex for the first time after the birth of your baby? Okay, that’s all of you!
One of the most common postpartum fears we hear from new moms and dads alike is that they are ready to get back in the sack but are hesitant post-delivery!
This Valentine’s Day, let our Stars and Stripes Doulas calm your fears and provide tips to get your freak on!
- Take it slow. Intercourse isn’t the only means of satisfaction and taking things slowly and exploring is a great way to find out if there are any changes post-delivery that may need special attention. Perhaps your sensitivity has increased substantially or it takes a little extra time to get those juices flowing, whatever the case, taking your time and exploring each other is important. Pro-Tip: Have a dark, hoppy beer! It will not only increase your milk supply but also help with relaxation!
- Use extra lubrication. Postpartum hormones are crazy! You may experience dryness that wasn’t an issue before (or the opposite which might be welcomed!) and reassuring your partner that this is hormonal rather than a reaction to stimulation is sometimes necessary so there is no awkward “it’s not you, I promise” conversations.
- Let your body (and care provider) set your timetable. You might be ready to jump back in the saddle soon after delivery or not ready even after given the okay by your care provider. Have an honest conversation with your partner and care provider about your feelings regarding postpartum sex and wait until you are ready!
- Boobs. They are probably perkier, fuller, rounder, and milkier! Who wouldn’t love that? Have a conversation with your partner about whether their touch is a welcome relief after being a human pacifier or whether you’re touched out and they are off limits. Keep towels nearby as milk letdowns are common during/after intercourse.
- Find a comfortable position. Postpartum sex is different! You may have had a cesarean, stitches, or even just discomfort after delivering a baby. Trying a side lying or woman on top position may be more comfortable during the postpartum period. Have no fear, you will be back to your regular favorite positions in no time!
- Build up excitement. Find your partner’s love language and speak it in the weeks leading up to the big day! Sending sexts and reminders of how turned on you are by your spouse can really amp the excitement for that moment!
- You may not get it right the first time. Have patience with one another. You may not get things right the first time. The baby might cry, you might realize the discomfort is more than you can handle, or you just aren’t ready…and that’s okay! There are many ways to maintain intimacy–massages, couples baths, foreplay, hand holding, cuddling, kissing, oral play, and more!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Written by: Melissa Nauss, Owner | Lead Doula of Stars and Stripes Doulas of New Orleans